Fear

Hi everyone!

I've included some recent pictures from my Birthday.  I hope you enjoy!  Now let's dive into this week's newsletter...

I just want to get out a quick newsletter about an acronym for the word fear that I heard from Chris, who is enrolled in my eCourse right now.  Chris is training for her black belt in karate (good luck!!) and she sent me an email yesterday and I want to share a part of it with you further down in this newsletter.

But first, I want to talk about your life that encompasses goals and letting things get in the way of achieving what you want.  When it comes down to binge eating, motivation for something, or even training for a black belt in karate, it is all about mind over matter.  It’s about you believing in yourself enough to do what it takes to obtain your goal.  It’s you never giving up until you have achieved what you want.  It’s not letting an obstacle stop you from finding another way to get there. 

Throughout our lives, we are faced with many different struggles along the way.  Are you going to be the type of person that lets struggles take your eyes off of your goal or are you going to be the person that lets the struggles motivate you even more to do whatever it takes to get to where you want to go?

You know, this can be applied to absolutely everything in your life.  Binge eating, your family, health, money, and the list goes on and on.  What is it that YOU want?  What is holding you back from getting what you want out of life?  Think about all areas of your life that are not being lived to the fullest because of…

FEAR.

What is fear?  It’s simply:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Condo on Lake Travis for my Birthday

Why let fear control your life and how much you can achieve?  After all, a fear is just something that you have made up in your head for whatever reason.  Think about the times when you conquered a fear and actually surprised yourself because it wasn’t nearly as bad or scary as you thought it would be.  Or maybe it was hard to initially overcome, but then you started to see yourself in a new light.  As a stronger person that is capable of doing more than you ever thought.

Just yesterday I was just responding to an email from a good friend about bingeing and it got me thinking about the different obstacles that I’ve overcome with binge eating and other things in my life.  She asked me if I ever relapsed once I thought I was healed.  I told her that I did a time or two, but I didn’t let that get in my way.  I told her that bingeing a few times didn’t erase all of my hard work and it certainly didn’t bring me back to point zero.  I could have let my various fears get in the way of not bingeing anymore, but I’m sure glad that I didn’t listen to those thoughts.  I found that my true feelings really came out and I realized that those few binges didn’t bring me the satisfaction that I once felt. 

If I would have let fear step in during these times and just given up, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  I wouldn’t have the chance of helping people by sharing my story.  I’m only human, so of course I had some reservation about putting myself out there and making myself so vulnerable.  I didn’t know what to expect when I launched my site.  To tell you the truth, I didn’t even tell a lot of my family members.  I didn’t want to hear anything that might plant fears inside my head because then I wouldn’t be able to do what I wanted, which is helping others who have binge eating disorder.

Just the other day, one of my really good friends from high school found my site and sent me an email.  She said that even though we were close, she had absolutely no idea that I struggled with this.  A year ago, I think that I would have felt a little embarrassed that she knew my secret – Now, I feel empowered.  Maybe she knows someone that could benefit from what I’m doing.  Maybe she’ll meet someone in the future that needs my help or just needs to know that there is someone else out there that went through the same thing as her.  You just never know what you could be missing out from when you let your fears hold you back.

Our little family on the boat

Another fear that I had was that you all wouldn’t care about seeing my pictures.  As you can probably tell, I love taking pictures!  The camera is always with me.  I love sharing pictures with all of you, but I was a little skeptical about it at first.  I thought to myself “Why in the world would these people want to see my pictures?”  Well, I can’t tell you how many emails I get from people that tell me how much they enjoy my pictures.  If my fear that people wouldn’t care to see my pictures won, I wouldn’t be able to get those kinds of emails. 

Looking back, I was afraid to stop bingeing (many of you have told me the same thing).  I just wasn’t quite sure what my life would be like without it.  It was comfortable for me.  An easy out.  I read a great book about fear and decided that I needed to do the uncomfortable to help myself.  If you do the same thing over and over, you will continue to get the same results.  Something had to change in my life.  I had a fear that I just wasn’t a strong enough girl to stop bingeing.  I don’t know where that fear came from because I’ve done some pretty strong things in my life before. 

Relaxing in the middle of the lake with a good book

I’ll share a little story with you.  In 2003 I was engaged to someone else.  I knew deep down that this wasn’t for me.  It wasn’t the life I wanted.  He just wasn’t my Mr. Right.  It was March and the wedding was scheduled for July.  I had my wedding dress, the bridesmaid’s had their dresses, we had the flowers scheduled, the cake, and the country club.  Everything was pretty much planned.  I knew that I couldn’t just go on and marry him, but I tried to put it out of my mind as best as I could. 

One week I went home to visit my parent’s.  They knew that I had some reservation about the wedding, but I had never told them how I really felt.  I just figured that it would go away because it seemed way too stressful to actually cancel everything that was already paid for.  My best friend came in town and we talked about things with my parents.  Finally, I was honest with myself and told them that I wanted to come home and I didn’t want to go through with the wedding. 

My flight to go back was leaving in a few hours, so we decided that Leslie would fly up there and we would pack my stuff in my car and drive back home.  My parents bought her a plane ticket for that afternoon and took me to the airport.  When I landed, much to my surprise, the guy I was engaged to decided to surprise me at the airport.  Of course, I had no luggage with me (left it in Houston), so you can imagine how much I was caught off guard when he said that he didn’t see me at the baggage claim.  I made up a quick story about how we must have missed each other and called my mom and Leslie for reinforcement.  I was freaking out.  It was a lot harder than I expected, especially since it wasn’t going as planned.  What was he doing at the airport?  He was totally putting a kink in my plans!

All smiles on this Birthday get-a-way!

Well, we met in the parking lot and he told me that his whole family was getting together for dinner at his parent’s.  I figured that I would go to dinner and then tell him the news.  I was following him to his parent’s house and I called Leslie and my mom for help.  I didn’t know what to do.  They told me that I needed to tell him now and not go to dinner.  I called him, we pulled over, and I told him.  There were tears and my heart was pounding so hard, but I knew that I was doing the right thing for me.  Leslie flew in that night; we packed my car the next day, and started the drive to Texas. 

So many things were going through my mind:  I thought I was doing the right thing but why was it so hard?  Why was I sad?  Why were tears coming out of my eyes?  Shouldn’t it have been easier than this?  Should I have given it more time?  And then reality sat in - I was moving back home with my parent’s after living on my own for a long time.  Oh man!  (Nothing wrong with my parent’s, but after living on my own for so long, the thought made me a little nervous.)

Many of my mom’s friends told me that I was so strong and that they weren’t sure they could have called off a wedding.  In my mind, I did see myself stronger now, but the even bigger picture was that if I would have gone through with it, I would have been unhappy.  It wouldn’t have worked and I would be divorced right now.  It’s just the straight facts and I just had to be true to myself.  Something I learned was that I have to put myself and my needs before anyone else.  What kind of a life would I be living if it was something that I didn’t want to be in?

Sorry to ramble about that, but I think that that is probably one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done.  It’s also the most rewarding thing because I am not going to sacrifice myself for anyone’s happiness.  And the best part about the whole thing is Rob.  I would never have met Rob, who is so wonderful in so many ways.  Things really do work out as they should.  There is a plan for it all, whether or not it’s obvious at the time.

So, about binge eating.  You will get there.  Do not let fear stand in your way.  There will be hurdles and you might question yourself throughout the way, but all of that is normal.  Remember, situations like that will only make you stronger in the end.  Keep fighting the fight and stay true to yourself always.

Happy Birthday to me! :)

 I want to share something from Lyndy with you all.  Lyndy took a very big step in helping rid herself of Girl Scout cookies.  “I am a Girl Scout troop co-leader.  I had ALL the troops’ cookies in my basement, with extras to sell at a booth sale.  I would "buy" cookies from our stash at night and inhale 2 boxes of tagalongs (peanut butter patties).  I would keep them under the sofa pillow so my husband wouldn’t see them in case he walked downstairs.  How sad is this!!  Finally I told the other leader she needed to keep the cookies at her home and we made the exchange.”

Way to go Lyndy!  I’m sure it was probably a hard thing to give the cookies away, but you did the right thing and made the best decision to help yourself.  I’m proud of you for listening to your desire to stop bingeing and to make the decision to get the cookies out of your house!  Remember everyone; it’s all about the little things!

Here is part of Chris’s email that I want to share with you.  It’s very powerful and I hope you enjoy it.   

“Kristin, in the past I would always want to binge when I knew I had to do some type of self-defense.  And although it was mere karate training, I realized that I had some bottled up "fear" that "I" needed to deal with (and no amount of food or any other forms of distraction could resolve).  You reminded me that it's all mind over matter, whether we are referring to karate, binge-eating, or anything else that requires self-discipline for that matter.  I guess it's important for me (and especially women, in general) to realize that we have control over each and every situation in our lives....We decide our outcome, our future, our destiny.  We are empowered and no one can take that away from us.”

Stay empowered and remember that your future is always up to you.  What are you doing to do to help yourself?  What fears are you going to squash so that you can get to the place that you want to be?  Do what it takes and keep fighting for what you want!

I’m so glad that I didn’t let my fear stand in my way.  I wouldn’t have been able to form such great relationships with some of you.  I can’t tell you how many times I get an email and it brings tears to my eyes.  It’s just wonderful!  I love what I’m doing and the lives that I’m helping to change.  I do believe in all of you very much.  I know that you all have the power to get over any fears that you may have and turn your life around too… and I’m here to help in whatever way I can.

Have a wonderful week and remember that I believe in you!

Love,

P.S... Please see the plea for help from my dog, Buttercup below.  We really need your help!

 

"Please Help My Friends!" Your help is needed!  Please read the e-mail that my dog Buttercup just sent out a few minutes ago.  Click here to read it.

Are you ready to finally put an end to Binge Eating?  Are you ready to finally take control, renew your self-esteem, and feel good about yourself?  Are you ready to truly begin a new life that doesn't revolve around food any more?  Click Here to order my ebook, "End Binge Eating" today and finally take control!